My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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