White coat. Heels.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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