but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
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