Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize