I need help removing her.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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