I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
