Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
