No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
