Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
