Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
