Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
