my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
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