And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
