I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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