Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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