A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Randomize
