When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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