Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.�
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Boobs are out for the taking
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
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