why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
i love accidental penises.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
