first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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