The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
