So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize
