if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
