That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
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