Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
