i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
