Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Randomize
