we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
