whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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