I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
