I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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