it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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