i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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