I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Randomize
