I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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