You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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