You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Randomize
