Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
