we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Holy sore nipples Batman
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize
