You're my little dorito
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
