Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
