Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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