My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Randomize
