4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
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