its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
