I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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