ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Houston, we have a squirter
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
