Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
they call him Oral-B. enough said
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
