I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
