Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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